I took a hard look tonight. When I sit studying the corriders of Facebook, what am I really looking for? What is missing in myself that I don’t hunt for permanent housing, or get the enthusiasm to pursue even a perfect job?
It’s an odd aim for a martial arts group, but it seems to me a lot of the Shintaido practice I participate in is geared toward opening up, social and physical reprogramming us people who aren’t so good at intimacy to offer of ourselves and to learn to receive.
We don’t talk much about love because the word alone is an empty cup. We can’t just decide oh yeah, love, the purpose of humankind and our martial arts, we’re gonna love everybody. And maybe it's kind of a secret aim. But we do decide to participate in activities to enhance connection--with self, others, nature, and however each of us experiences God. (Not so different from Girl Scouts!) There are lots of little games and traditions aimed at supporting that intimacy building.
Being human, though, I do the best I can to resist what I'm aiming for. But I'm hanging in there, trying to get past my flawed perceptions and techniques. I figure it’s so worth being patient. This is an essential study. Without love, why bother? Without love, I could sit parked in my room forever. Without love, food, job, nice place to live, none of it’s worth a dusty penny on the asphalt.
2 comments:
Easy there girl. Gettin' pretty metaphysical. Too much reminds me of going to strict democracy, co-op meetings of an intimate group of about 100. Its never over. So little to show for so much effort.
I am afraid that I have found that the older I get, the less clear any of that stuff is. I wish I knew how important "the stuff" is. I fear that none of it is important; it just is. (Douglas Adams was/is so perceptive). I am pretty sure I cannot expect a turn around on this path.
Hi, George-
I need to adjust the settings on this blog. (I thought I already had.)Just now found your message!
I am so fickle. My opinion about the techniques shifts day to day-if not more frequently. But if I look at my behavior the last few years, it would suggest that the only thing I know to be important is "the stuff". (And from what little I know about Douglas Adams, he knew it, too.) Some of the best magicians are those who don't believe in magic.
thanks, George-
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